i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
