some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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