Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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