When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
