He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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