GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Randomize
