I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize