She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
