it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize