On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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