I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize