Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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