big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
