Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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