Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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