remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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