After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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