Barsexuality is the new black.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have tasted many bathrooms
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
