I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
