haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize