oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
