Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Randomize
