He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize