oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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