In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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