I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize