I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
