Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize