Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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