First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize