Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just gift wrapped bread.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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