I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
