Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i may or may not be watching the land before time
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
