The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
