Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got inside last night via doggy door
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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