i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
