Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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