have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We talked him into tasing himself.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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