I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
