We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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