Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
