Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
