Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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