I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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