Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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