Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
