I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
