im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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