Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
