i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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