Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize