Ambien. No doubt about it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize