She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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