I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
