Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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