i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
