my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
