I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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